Monday, October 22, 2012

Animal Novela

You could basically write a novela based on the life of my pets.


First came Reese, an independent gorgeous female feline. Young but street-saavy. The gatos of Cayo Paloma started chasing her right away. Bam - pregnant within two months.


Four beautiful gatitos are born: 3 boys and one girl. As bad luck would have it, the boys didn't survive under the care of the Indians. Reese knew it was a mistake to let them leave. At least she still has her baby girl, Georgia. Reese keeps Georgia close by her side and well-nourished: 6 months on the nipple and a rat or bird expertly caught and delivered at least once a week.

Then the gringa-foodgiver did the unthinkable. She took Reese to a vet and had her spayed. Without the consent of Reese! Reese never forgave her.


A couple of months later, the gringa-foodgiver brings home a foreigner - a dog for God's sake. What was she smoking bringing that ugly chocolate-colored flea bag in here? All he does is yap-yap-yap and bite everything. Lord have mercy on us. Reese knows what to do. A little voo-doo magic with the squirrels of the forest and POOF - the dog stops eating and starts pooping blood.

Well not long after, the dog (Kaiser) kicks the bucket. Georgia falls into a state of depression for what her mother did and finds comfort in a sweet tomcat next door. It doesn't seem to be a problem until Reese starts giving Georgia the cold shoulder. Feeling more lonely and sad, Georgia confides in her older wiser vecina and learns that the sweet boy cat next door is her Father!


Meanwhile, the gringa-foodgiver has lost her wits over Kaiser and has stopped feeding Reese and Georgia. With Reese on the outs with Georgia, Georgia has to finally learn how to fend for herself. She picks up another bad habit of her mothers and begins stealing from the store next door. She feels she has no other option - she was never taught how to catch birds!


After a strict scolding from the gringa-foodgiver, Georgia is taken to live in another house on the outskirts of town. It's meant to be a rehabilitation center so that Georgia will learn that stealing is bad. It feels more like a prison to 9 month old Georgia. Eventually, the "rehabilitation" fails and Georgia is thrown out for stealing turtle meat.


Alone and on the street, Georgia comes running back to the gringa-foodgiver, the only person in the world who actually cares for her. After a long embrace, they work out their differences and the gringa-foodgiver decides Georgia can return to live with her. But under one condition: she must get pregnant ASAP. The gringa-foodgiver wants more kittens.

This proves to be much more difficult than planned. At one year old, Georgia knows she must be fertile. She endures that painful sex from two tomcats every week, but still no pregnancy. Did God strike Georgia at birth so that she will continually have troubles in life? When will there be relief?


Even though this is where the novela is supposed to turn happy, unfortunately that hasn't happened for Georgia yet. She got a bad case of heartworms and the gringa-foodgiver brought back another stupid dog. This time a girl puppy named Gracie. Better named Crazy because that puppy is a nightmare, always barking at Georgia and trying to bite her. Georgia has to show her who's boss every once in a while and slaps her in the face with the claws out. That does the trick.


Oh and what happened to Reese you may wonder. She went to live and work for another family, hunting rats at night in exchange for a little food and a dry place to sleep. Seems to be working out well for her because she she passes Georgia, she doesn't even look her way. Wey puta.

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