The Fun Doesn't Always Have to Come to an End

What a long time it has been since my last update - I apologize! This will actually be my last update because I officially ended my Peace Corps service on October 26! Twenty-seven months in Panama. Wow, where did the time go?

My work projects were left semi-complete, but that is the nature of development work. Truthfully, towards the end, my motivated community members got busy in other activities, some left the community to find work elsewhere in the country, and some just lost interest and enthusiasm. It seems like a sad way to leave the community, but I have to remember what we were able to accomplish and hope that they will continue with what they were taught. After all, sustainability is our #1 goal.

• In the Artisan Group, we reorganised the group, wrote membership rules and defined/trained the Board of Directors in their roles. They learned the importance of product development and always working to keep their products modern without losing it's tradition in order to appeal to tourists. We experimented in new markets and hopefully they will continue with the relationships that we were able to build with outside vendors.
• With the Women's Group that runs a small store, I worked a lot with the Board of Directors to teach them their individual roles and responsibilities. They also received training on how to run their small store effectively. We also did a rehaul of the group's rules and regulations to ensure that all members were participating equally.
• For the kids in the community, I taught Junior Achievement classes to 32 middle school students, Life Skills and Sex Education classes to 55 middle school students (with a fellow volunteer, Charles Walker), and had a small Girl Scouts group for a year. At the very end of my service, my neighboring volunteer (Charles Walker) and his new replacement (Maggie Melcher) and I worked together to paint a 6ft x 12ft World Map on the school in my community. How awesome for the community!

I feel proud of what I was able to help the community accomplish. Though I do wish that I could have motivated them more. A lot of the time, the women that I worked with were so caught up in just getting by - putting food on the table, having time to clean the house, wash clothes for a family of 6, helping with homework, working on their farm - that they didn't have time to focus on anything above the "Safety" level (if you think about the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs). Even though I pushed and tried to motivate and get them to think above their everyday worries, they eventually just got burned out of hearing me. Everything ended fine, but personally I was ready to leave the community and move on to the next phase in my life.

So much was learned from my Peace Corps experience - an incredible amount of personal and professional and relational growth in only 2 years! What I most take away are facilitating skills, listening skills, patience, flexibility and a deep appreciation for other cultures/backgrounds. I can also now say that I am fluent in Spanish! Personally, I take away a strong dedication to focusing on the important things in life - living for Jehovah God, helping and loving others, and using my God-given skills and talents to better this world.

If you haven't heard, I am still in Panama! I am truly happy here and I prefer this way of life - beautiful environment by natural Caribbean beaches, living simply without the urge to buy the latest gadgets or move on to a bigger house, car, etc., already connected to a group of people who I can continue helping to improve their lives. There is no job stress to sell more more more, work 50+ hours per week, commute 1+ hour every day, do the work that 2 employees should be doing. Everything here is rrreeeelllaaaaxxxeedd because here most people recognize that there is no need for extra stress in life, extra money just to make you misspend it, extra pressures to cause you to deceive or make an illegal move. Most people here want to do good for their community and live in peace.

Half of my reason for staying was certainly for my Panamanian boyfriend, Oduber. We have been together for a year and a half and we want to see if this relationship is really meant to be. We are attending a local bible-based church and have started a couple's bible study with one of the leaders in the church. We are very happy to have a good group of friends and influences.

I was very lucky to find a job soon after arriving in Bocas del Toro, where we live. I am working at Habla Ya, a school that offers Spanish classes and full-service trip planning in Panama. I am working on the Sales team, responsible for helping future students organize their trip to Panama. I am also doing some business consulting on the side for a small eco-tourism resort. Hopefully it will turn into a fun new business adventure for me!

Thank you all for following me through my 2 year Peace Corps service. I still have my blog up - learnlovegive.blogspot.com. Check it out to read all about my adventures in Panama. Beware that there are some controversial entries... hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings! But I wanted to be real and speak truthfully. And sometimes the truth hurts, right?

To close, here are a few bible verses that I find particularly important after everything that I have learned in the past two years:

“Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” James 4:4

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:19

“Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. A person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.” James 2:17, 24

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take told of the life that is truly life.” 1 Timothy 6:17-19

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

GRACE BE WITH YOU!

Panamanian Dulces

I have a major sweet tooth. Somehow I have escaped cavities, diabetes and obesity. So obviously God is ok with me consuming more than the average amount of sugar. Thank you Lord. I will also say that being a Peace Corps Volunteer has helped curb my sugar appetite because I don't get a whole lot of sweets out here (only when my awesome mama sends them my way :)).

Another reason why my sugar appetite has subsided is because it is virtually impossible to find good-tasting sweets in Panama. I have milled over this for many hours and have yet to come up with an excuse. For me, this inferior taste ends the game. No matter how pretty, fluffy, moist and delicious it looks, I know without a doubt that I'm going to be disappointed with the taste. So I don't even build myself up anymore.

But what could the missing ingredient be, seriously? It's like eating sugary air to me. The problem isn't that it doesn't have enough sugar. It's like it's missing depth, substance. It doesn't fill your mouth with the deliciousness of normal sweets. Is this description making any sense at all?

But this also makes me ask myself, what in the heck do they put in the sweets in the U.S.? You know, the box cake mixes, brownies, cookies, puddings, etc. In the bakeries and sweet shops. Is it the chemicals and unnatural substances that make our sweets so delicious?

Or have I been conditioned to the sweets that I grew up eating and now other varieties just don't taste as good? Maybe it's all mental.

I finally gave up the search and accepted the facts for what they were. And that is the story of how I lost my sweet tooth.

McFlurry Disappointment

I have a sad story to tell. You know that feeling you get when you want something really bad? You start imagining the thing, how it looks, feels, smells, tastes. And then you can't get it out of your head until you have it. Well that happened to me one day in front of a McDonald's Ice Cream station. Yes, they created an ice cream/sweets station and put it at the entrance of a grocery store in a little kiosk. Incredible, I know.

So I had been in Panama about 2 months at this piont. My Spanish was improving, I was used to the Latino culture and dirty cities, and my waist line had increased about an inch from eating lots of fried food and rice. Peace Corps treated us to sweets about once a week during training: cakes, doughnuts, cookies. But Panamanian-made sweets are not anywhere near as delicious as those made in the U.S. I like to think of myself as a "sweets connoisseur" and these Panamanian confections never satisfied my appetite. I held out well, but that McDonalds sweets station lured me in and needless to say, I took the bait.

There is pretty much nothing in the world more brilliantly simple than a McFlurry. Perfect fluffy cold vanilla ice cream mixed with candy bar pieces like Snickers, Reeses, Twix, Oreo. Good God it's amazing.

I kept my cool as I ordered even though my insides wanted to jump through my skin from the excitement of the first bite. $2.50, a bit on the high side but I knew it was worth it. Didn't I deserve this treat? Lord, I had survived living in Panama for 2 months! I deserved 20 McFlurries!

The attendant handed it to me and I walked away naturally as if I do this all the time. No big deal. As soon as I turn the corner I pull out the spoon and take a big dip. Out comes a lot of vanilla ice cream. Hm. Ok not mixed so well. Let me dig around for the oreos. After a few turns I find a few crushed oreos at the bottom. REALLY?! Did you really just screw me over like that? Did I really just pay $2.50 for vanilla ice cream and a few oreo crumbs? Livid does not even begin to describe how I felt. But what could I do? I had already left and already started eating and I was running late to catch the bus. FML.

So I enjoyed my expensive vanilla ice cream on the bus ride home, reflecting over how nothing is ever as it seems in Panama. And I haven't eaten a McFlurry since.

The Chinos Own Everything

When I came to Panama, I expected to see a lot of Latinos. You know, tanned skin, black eyes, black hair. I did find a lot of them, but I came across a lot of some other races that were a big shock.

The first 20 or so black people I came across threw me for a complete loop when they started speaking Spanish. It was so weird hearing Spanish coming out of a black person's mouth. Does that show how naive I was or what?

But the biggest shock was the amount of Asian people I saw. What in the world brought Asians all the way to Panama? And not only are they here doing their own private thing, they own every freaking super market in the entire country. You think I'm joking. It's not a joke. Supermarkets here are called "chinos." That's how ridiculous it is. And do you know how many supermarkets there are in tiny little Panama? Good God, millions! And a different Chino (affectionate little name Panamanians call Asians, like how they say Gringo for white people) owns each one with their own family! They have to make up like a third of the population, seriously. It's crazy, and weird. So not what I expected.

The day that I first realized that everything in Panama is owned by chinos was about 3 weeks after arriving in Panama. I went to the nearby city to call my family back home. I had to buy a calling card. I went into one chino, no luck. Told me to go to the other chino on the corner. I went there and asked, still no luck. Referred me to another chino on the opposite side of the street. Third time's a charm and I got my calling card. But seriously, each chino sent me to another chino because they all have a secret underground network where they all own everything! Scary. Definitely don't trust that.

And, just for your information, the Ngobes around here believe that there is a submarine in the bay owned and operated by "chino rojos" and they come and eat Ngobe babies at night. So it's not just me that believes there is a ridiculous conspiracy.

The Meaning of FAMILY

F: future
A: acceptance
M: mosaic
I: indebted
L: learn
Y: ya'll

I can think of multiple reasons for why the "western family" has become watered down, but that is not my fight. I like to say "to each his own". Who am I to tell you how to raise your family?

Here in a poor indiginous village in Panama, I have rediscovered the meaning of life. This starts with God and stretches out to people and our relationships. The most important relationships we have on Earth are with our family. Sometimes this is blood-related and sometimes not. Either way, almost all of us picture a few (or many) important faces when we think of the word FAMILY.

In this blog post, I want to stress the importance of family through wisdom that I have accumulated in Panama. Sit back, relax and picture your family in your mind.

The most important thing about family is that it's your Future. The future is the next 10 years, 1 year, 1 month, 1 day, 1 hour. No matter what, your family will be there. Once the old members pass away, new ones will spring up to replace them. I love to think about the lives of the abuelas where I live. Some of the lucky ones still have parents alive and brothers and sisters. But those that don't are surrounded by children and grandchildren. For the community, it was extremely abnormal for me to live my myself, sleep in a house all by myself. They are always surrounded by family, from birth to death. I love to think about their lives because they have seen the beautiful life cycle of so many people as they grow and make their way through life. Your family is your future.

There is no one in the world that will Accept you for who you are other than your family. Maybe this isn't your reality, but I encourage you to focus on your future family and try your hardest to practice accepting your family members as you would like others to accept you. Acceptance goes hand in hand with unconditional love; love a person for who they are, God's creation, no matter their mistakes and faults. I believe that love between family members is the closest we get to unconditional love on Earth. When a woman has 8 children, it's inevitable that a few are going to take the "wrong path": fall in with a bad crowd or get pregnant too soon. Out here, not once have I heard that the son or daughter was forever sent out of the house, shunned, disinherited, or never spoken to again. They weren't supported or applauded for their actions, but they were loved through them. I think it's a very big tragedy when the children are expected to be perfect and inevitably make a mistake (because no one is perfect) and are looked down upon to the point of being written off by their own family. Who are you to cast the first stone? The practice of acceptance is of upmost importance in a family.

The family is a Mosaic of shapes, sizes, colors and personalities. The human race progresses in this world because of diversity. The reason why many hard-to-reach villages can't get out of poverty is because they do not have diversity which brings new ideas and skills and knowledge. But the family is constantly evolving with new members being brought in from different families.

A sense of unspoken Indebtedness should run through a family. Usually it flows from the children to their parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, for the gratitude of raising them, supporting them, and helping them to achieve in life. In a poor community, the parents have to work much harder to find opportunities to make money to allow their children to achieve. Therefore, the children notice the effort more. They also have further to go so when they do finally achieve, they know who to give thanks to. I definitely feel like us Westerners have lost this sense of indebtedness. We take so much for granted, even our own parents.

A parent should never forget how much children Learn from them. Manerisms, values, language. From spoken to the unspoken, children are learning from the people they are around the most, typically family. The babies here usually start speaking the local dialect first before the common Spanish because dialect is the primary language spoken in the home and between women. This is wonderful to see because the language is slowly starting to fade out and not be passed on fluently to the younger generations. I think it's so important to tell children stories over and over so they will remember their family members and also so they will remember lessons better. Children relate well and understand stories better than facts or direct statements.

Above all, Ya'll are a family. It's your clan and nothing will ever change that. Be proud! Support one another! And remember that your uniqueness is what makes ya'll, well ya'll, so keep it going.

Water: How It Is Inconspicuously Wasted

In a developed country, there are lots of utilities that are taken care of without the bat of an eye: light, water, sewer, cable, internet. "Someone" fixes it up at your residence and next thing you know, it works. Simple as that. And we don't even give a second thought to how or why. Waste of brain space... or not?

This blog entry is devoted to our use of water. Really everyone's use of water because we all need healthy clean water. Do you know where your water comes from? Beyond the faucet? Do you know where your water goes? Beyond the drain?

This topic wouldn't be such a big deal if clean water were like sunlight. Almost every day, the sunlight breaks through the sky or the clouds and shows it's happy face for about 12 hours. That hasn't changed ever. But as most of us know, clean fresh water is not as easy to come by. So why do we waste it as if it were limitless?

I'm not at all an expert in this area, so my ranting will hopefully just create an alert or an "aha" so that you are more aware of how you use water. I don't know statistics and can't quote famous researchers, but I know that immense amounts of water are misused and wasted every day through seemingly innocent actions.

Let's take the first example of a shower. Do you leave the water on while you suds up? Why? Oh you don't want to get cold? Lame excuse buddy. If you absolutely are doing to die, why don't you put a big bucket to catch the wasted hot water and then use that water to wash dishes with. What, you're too lazy to carry the bucket to the kitchen? Wow, there just aren't enough words for you my friend.

So now that we're on the topic of the kitchen, let's talk about the dishwasher. What a ridiculous invention to make people more lazy than ever. All a dishwasher is meant for is to give its owner more time to plop down in front of the tv. "Let me throw the dinner plates in the dishwasher so I can catch my favorite tv show!" You know it's true. Well, the honest truth is also that a dishwasher uses an absurd amount of water. Washing by hand does just as good of a job, if not better. And hot water to kill the germs is totally overrated. Soap is made to do the exact same thing.

The next example is understandable for those that do not have a clean stream or river near their home: the washing machine. But if you have an uncontaminated water source directly from the ground, use it to wash clothes too! So much more water efficient and more effective. Or soak your clothes in a big bucket filled with water and detergent, wash and rinse.

We've come to the example of the epitomy of wasting water: the toilet. Yes, the toilet. Give this a thought: Why do we poop in clean drinkable water? Clean water that is so precious, that we need to save and conserve? Why would we mix a contaminated substance with clean water, only to have to separate the two and clean the water for re-use? Why spend millions (or more) of dollars to "treat" water when we could just stop getting it dirty in the first place?! Lord have mercy. I just want you to think about that and let it sink in that we poop in clean water.

Ok so what is the solution? Composting, people. Don't you know what natural fertilizer is? It's usually composed of poop from some animal, like chickens or cows. What makes our poop any different from barnyard animals in terms of fertilizer? Not much! There are safe ways to collect human poop and turn it into fertilizer: a composting latrine. It's not rocket science people. Put back into the earth what came out of it. That's it.

So that's my rant. Hope it enlightened you and made you more conscious of how much water a typical "Westerner" wastes through silly time-saving inventions.

Visit to the Salon

I'm a big proponent for the bikini wax. Just throwing that out there. So when the time came for a group beach trip, my first thought was, "Hope I still fit in my bathing suit" and the second was, "Where in the heck and I going to get a bikini wax?"

Thankfully, two of my friends were thinking the same thing. Pooling together our resources, which is to say taking advantage of the native speaker in our trio, we quickly found a salon that was willing to give bikini waxes for $10. Sweet because I'm used to paying at least $20 in the States.

On the scheduled day at the appointment time of 10 am, we arrive. First of all, the doors are locked and someone has to come let us in. Obviously walk-ins are not welcome (nor creepers off the street for that matter). When we enter I notice that the parlor is under a bit of construction. My friend had done all of the negotiations so this was my first time in the salon. My friend explains to me that the owner is in the process of putting in a private room for waxing, but it is only half-way completed. The owner promised my friend that it would be finished before our appointment, but obviously it's not. There are scaffolds and other building equipment at the entrance.

We sit down on the modern shiny black leather couches and wait to be greeted. About 15 minutes later the owner comes out and introduces herself. She's a vibrant and beautiful black woman who speaks rapid Spanish. She tells us that it will be a few minutes and then she'll call each of us back. She explains that the construction crew didn't finish but she'll get the room ready for us as best she can. We're flexible so we tell her no worries. Meanwhile we pass the time talking and reading a few magazines.

About 45 minutes pass, no joke, and finally she calls us. I'm the first to go in. She leads me back to a small room and closes the door. It's outfitted with a table for waxing, a stand and a chair. It's not well lit, but enough to be able to wax. I notice the ceiling isn't finished and I can see up to the rafters. There is a connecting bathroom and she asks me to take off my pants there and then lay on the table with a sheet covering me. She went out to get some supplies or something. She has a sweet demeanor and I don't notice any worry or frustration in her voice.

I do what she says and she comes back and gets ready to do her job. Like all estheticians, they're good at conversting. It passes the time much easier. We small talk and I learn that she's from the Dominican Republic and her husband is Panamanian. She tells me about her salon, she's had it for 10 years. We talk about Panama and how it's different from other places. All in all, pleasant converstaion with a sweet woman who is determined to work for herself and do her thing. She finished up and we said our goodbyes and I went and waited for my friends to have their turns.

When we were done, we each paid our $10 and left much cleaner than we have entered. What started out a bit frustrating with construction and a slow start, ended very nice with exactly what we had hoped for. It just shows how far patience, adaptability and understanding will get you in this world.

Mary Beth's Suggested Reading List

It has been said that Peace Corps Volunteers are the most well-read people on the planet. Actually, I just made that up. It is true that we read a lot. I'll finish up my service with about 75 books read over the 27 months, but I know others who were closer to the 200 mark. Sounds unreal but obviously you don't understand how much free time we have...

So I feel it's sort-of my duty to recommend some new books for you. You're interested, right? Here are my top picks broken into categories for your convenience.

Non-Fiction (and changed my life)
1. The Good Life by Helen and Scott Nearing
I admire the authors tremendously for how they restructured their lives. I hope to be able to live like they did - working with their hands, living off the land. A simple life, the way God intended.
2. Hope's Edge by Frances Moore Lappe and Anna Lappe
I have always been "health-conscious", trying to eat balanced and avoid too much fat and salt. But this book opened by eyes to even bigger problems with our diets and what we consume. It made me more aware of the "unnaturalness" of our food and the ridiculous way that we feed animals for consumption. It was a pleasure to read because her style is smooth and inviting. She offers many ideas for overcoming these food problems. Surprisingly positive to read.
3. Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortensen
This book is quite popular so if you haven't already read it, get on the wagon! And if it's been awhile, read it again! Greg did amazing work in Pakistan and Afghanistan dealing with education, something that we should all be inspired by. Education in developing countries greatly moved up my "importance ladder" because of the awareness that Greg shared in his book.
4. The Humanure Handbook by Joseph Jenkins
White people don't like to discuss poop because we feel like we're super clean and sanitary and totally above waste matter. Well, the truth is, we produce a lot of it and the way we handle it is stupid. You just have to read this book. I could rant and rave about this for hours... Anyway, the book is well written, humorous, and full of good information and solutions to help us properly deal with our waste.

Fiction
1. Let the Great World Spin by Calum McCann
Absolutely fantastic book. McCann is a brilliant writer.
2. The Razors Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Surprisingly great read. Did not expect to enjoy it so much but I couldn't put it down.

Ridiculous
1. Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
Out of control, this story of Burroughs' life. Laugh out loud but in the way that you also want to cry for him. One reason why I want to go into social work...

Catching Series
1. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larson
If you haven't read this series of 3 books, sit yourself down one weekend and knock them all out. They're brilliant.
2. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I imagine most people have already read this series of 3 from Collins but if not, get on it! Super quick reads and very engaging.

Travel
1. [India] Karma and Other Stories by Rishi Reddi
I loved this little book from Reddi. She's a very intelligent writer. In this book of short stories, she joins the lives of multiple people to form a puzzle of luscious life in India and the U.S. Great quick read which will leave you wanting to experience Indian culture for yourself.
2. [France] From Here, You Can't See Paris by Michael Sanders
I read this book multiple times over the two years of my service. It is a joy to read and learn about small village France and how life has continued there over the centuries. Of course, the chapters about the restaurant that he studies is chock-full of interesting information that leaves you with a fresh understanding of how find food is really prepared.
3. [Italy] Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes
What a beautiful book and interesting journey that Mayes takes us on. She is a careful writer, great storyteller, intimate and intricate. I read this account of her multiple times, longing for the real-life experience that she paints for her readers. Italy is near the top of my travel list because of this book.

Animal Novela

You could basically write a novela based on the life of my pets.

First came Reese, an independent gorgeous female feline. Young but street-saavy. The gatos of Cayo Paloma started chasing her right away. Bam - pregnant within two months.

Four beautiful gatitos are born: 3 boys and one girl. As bad luck would have it, the boys didn't survive under the care of the Indians. Reese knew it was a mistake to let them leave. At least she still has her baby girl, Georgia. Reese keeps Georgia close by her side and well-nourished: 6 months on the nipple and a rat or bird expertly caught and delivered at least once a week.

Then the gringa-foodgiver did the unthinkable. She took Reese to a vet and had her spayed. Without the consent of Reese! Reese never forgave her.

A couple of months later, the gringa-foodgiver brings home a foreigner - a dog for God's sake. What was she smoking bringing that ugly chocolate-colored flea bag in here? All he does is yap-yap-yap and bite everything. Lord have mercy on us. Reese knows what to do. A little voo-doo magic with the squirrels of the forest and POOF - the dog stops eating and starts pooping blood.

Well not long after, the dog (Kaiser) kicks the bucket. Georgia falls into a state of depression for what her mother did and finds comfort in a sweet tomcat next door. It doesn't seem to be a problem until Reese starts giving Georgia the cold shoulder. Feeling more lonely and sad, Georgia confides in her older wiser vecina and learns that the sweet boy cat next door is her Father!

Meanwhile, the gringa-foodgiver has lost her wits over Kaiser and has stopped feeding Reese and Georgia. With Reese on the outs with Georgia, Georgia has to finally learn how to fend for herself. She picks up another bad habit of her mothers and begins stealing from the store next door. She feels she has no other option - she was never taught how to catch birds!

After a strict scolding from the gringa-foodgiver, Georgia is taken to live in another house on the outskirts of town. It's meant to be a rehabilitation center so that Georgia will learn that stealing is bad. It feels more like a prison to 9 month old Georgia. Eventually, the "rehabilitation" fails and Georgia is thrown out for stealing turtle meat.

Alone and on the street, Georgia comes running back to the gringa-foodgiver, the only person in the world who actually cares for her. After a long embrace, they work out their differences and the gringa-foodgiver decides Georgia can return to live with her. But under one condition: she must get pregnant ASAP. The gringa-foodgiver wants more kittens.

This proves to be much more difficult than planned. At one year old, Georgia knows she must be fertile. She endures that painful sex from two tomcats every week, but still no pregnancy. Did God strike Georgia at birth so that she will continually have troubles in life? When will there be relief?

Even though this is where the novela is supposed to turn happy, unfortunately that hasn't happened for Georgia yet. She got a bad case of heartworms and the gringa-foodgiver brought back another stupid dog. This time a girl puppy named Gracie. Better named Crazy because that puppy is a nightmare, always barking at Georgia and trying to bite her. Georgia has to show her who's boss every once in a while and slaps her in the face with the claws out. That does the trick.

Oh and what happened to Reese you may wonder. She went to live and work for another family, hunting rats at night in exchange for a little food and a dry place to sleep. Seems to be working out well for her because she she passes Georgia, she doesn't even look her way. Wey puta.

Cocina Time in Hato Chami

Many people say that the kitchen is the heart of a house. Food is an essential part of life for all human beings, so naturally it follows that the kitchen becomes an intimate gathering place. When someone invites you into their kitchen, you know they're inviting you into their heart.

I had a very beautiful experience in a unique kitchen in the mountains of Panama. I visited a large indigenous community for a week and had the unexpected pleasure of staying with a local family. Though I left the home early every morning to work in the community and returned in the late afternoon, we shared every evening together in their kitchen. All the way in the cold indigenous mountain villages of Panama, the kitchen is still a warm gathering place.

Beautiful mountains of the Comarca Ngobe-Bugle

This kitchen was like none I had ever seen nor have seen since. It was round, about 12ft in diameter. It has 3ft high walls made of sticks and bamboo. There were two openings on opposite sides for entering. The roof was cone shaped, the highest point in the center reaching about 12ft. The roof was made of thatched grass. It reached all the way down to the short walls, enclosing everything inside in darkness. The only light shone through the doors and the thin strips between the sticks. The floor was dirt.



The kitchen



The inside was outfit with a fire pit used for cooking, a long table with nothing on top and a few wooden stools scattered about. There were old cardboard boxes and chagras holding indiscernible items lined up on one side of the wall.

On the first night, everyone was very shy to speak to me. Everyone except the abuela, the matriarch of the family. She lived there with her son and his wife and kids and also her daughter and her young children. I didn't get to meet everyone; many stayed in the separate house where they all sleep (I slept in their small family store apart from the kitchen and their house where they sleep). But I learned that there are about 10 living there from a picture I took of the family at the end of my stay.

Family that I stayed with (I think some of the people in the picture were neighbors).

The abuela and I talked about our families and how life is different in the United States. She taught me many words in her native language as we sat beside the fogon. Unlike our grandmas in the States, who each seem to have a defined personality, the abuelas in the comarca are all remarkably similar. They have worked very hard all of their lives to raise children and grandchildren, take care of their husband, keep up with the housework, help out in the finca. By the time they become viejas, they are tired. They do their work in a rote-like manner, exactly as they've done it the last 50 years. They are calm as if nothing phases them. I'm sure they have experienced a few highs and many lows in their lifetime; a sad truth of poverty. So when a gringa comes to live with you for a week, well it's nothing over which to get your panties in a wad!

Towards the end of my stay, the children got more daring and began talking to me. I helped them with English as they stood around, some staring and some smiling at me, kinda like what we do at zoo animals really. They took more of an interest in me than the adults. Funny. I still find that to be true today.

Part that I slept in with the small tienda.

But over everything that I experienced in that kitchen, something stays with me that is unexpected to most Westerners: the humo. Humo is the smoke that is released from the firewood used for cooking in the fire pit. I like to think of myself as a city girl; I've never been one to go camping or really enjoy living outdoors. So this was my first experience with the eye-burning, cough-inducing, stomach-churning smoke that completely enclosed the kitchen every night. It's a miracle the kitchen doesn't burn down during the dry season. Smoke rises so the two little entrances didn't help the smoke escape, though it did help fresh air get in (I wisely sat very close to one entrance). Therefore the smoke had to slowly seep through the straw/grass roof, which was also damp from the constant rain (it was the rainy season when I visited). Needless to say, it was awful and I have no idea how those people can suffer under those conditions every single day. Mainly the women are suffering because they're the ones cooking. Unbelievable.

So forget saving the whales! Save these poor grandmas from lung disease and blindness by helping them develop safer stoves and fogons to cook on!

[I didn't really mean that about the whales. They really need to be helped too; beautiful peaceful sea mammoths, LET THEM LIVE!]

Homesickness: Not Contagious

A mind-boggler to me is how Peace Corps volunteers suffer from homesickness. It's not like we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. 27 months, in a poor country, alone in a small community. Are we naive? Are we too proud? Or are we simply human?

Well, I don't know the answer because I've never been homesick during my Peace Corps service. Actually, never in my life. Weird.

I mean, what is "homesick"? Crying for your king sized bed with the down feather mattress top back home? Or wishing you could be at your best friend's birthday party? I'm probably the completely wrong person to be commenting on an illness I've never had, but I feel it's necessary to give the other side of the story. How it feels for the people who feel sick when they have to go "home".

Is it my fault that I haven't caught this sad disease? That I kept myself healthy with an open mind to my surroundings and new experiences? No, I think when it really comes down to it, some of us are meant for a life abroad and others are meant to just barely survive it. And that's ok.

But please, take it easy on us who suffer from reverse-homesickness. Don't cry and beg us to come home; don't you realize how much we will suffer? Don't spend 30 minutes telling us all about what's going on in American politics; we don't care. And please, above all, be accepting when we fall in love with a foreigner; no, they don't speak much English but neither do we anymore!

September Birthdays

Well, today is the first of September and the beginning of a month llena (full) of birthdays for me. Is it like that for you too? Or is it just my family that consistently gets knocked up around New Years?

Maybe it's not a matter of getting knocked up. Maybe responsible married adults get excited at the beginning of the year and are full of so much love that they decide to bring another into the mix. I mean, people do that, right?

Well whatever is in the air, my family caught it and that calls for CELEBRATION! Except if you're a Strawn (because they're boring and conservative) and if you're from the comarca (indian reservation) (like my better half, because they're poor and birthdays are about the last thing they are going to save money for to celebrate). So where does that leave me? I can't let all these cherished persons pass their day of birth without some sort of special acknowledgment. I'm Mary Beth for heaven's sake. It just wouldn't be natural.

Now, it would be a lie of I told you money wasn't an issue for me. After all, I am a Peace Corps volunteer. We are poor. It would also be a lie if I told you that all of these birthday-holders lived close to me. Some don't even live in the same country. Well shit.

So I'm going to have to pull out my handy dandy creative thinking skills (they sure don't teach you those in Panamanian schools!). Instead of buying a cake for one birthday-holder, maybe I'll buy one to be shared among four birthday-holders. Instead of throwing confetti and balloons on one surprised birthday-holder, three will get showered in sparkles. Instead of singing happy birthday to one special birthday holder, two will receive the happy wishes over Skype. It's never too late to learn how to share.

But let me tell you something really sad. It's the truth that here, in poverty, they don't celebrate birthdays. It's not because they don't want to or they don't care or their religion is against it. It's because they can't. They have between 4 and 8 kids. They barely live off welfare. There are no other sources of income in our community for the women, actual or potential.

But you know what I've seen a few of them do? Turn ordinary things into something special for their children on their birthdays. They'll save that special day to eat rice and hot dogs instead of the next day. They'll let them get dressed in a special dress usually reserved for church. They'll make a special chagra (shoulder bag) to carry stones for their child's slingshot.

Isn't that really what a birthday is? An extra dose of special to remind that person that they are loved and wanted. Life beats us up and these reminders are key. It's not really necessary to go full tilt and celebrate a birthday-week or spend $500 on a new electronic or even $50 on a nice dinner. Be wary of how you throw around your money. What are you trying to say that you can't say with your lips?

So while I'm at it, I want to make a famous (smile you're on camera!) birthday shout-out to all of my friends and family cumpliendo in September: Mom, Dad, Oduber, Choncho, Chupi, Olmedo, Luna, Lili, Doli, Edelkis, Negrito, Chicki, Chichi Feo, Manchu, Pipi. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU ARE LOVED!

Mom and Dad

Oduber and his brother Olmedo

Negrito (Samir)

Pipi (Yuli)

Doli (Audrey)

Stories from Panama

I love to use my blog to write memories of crazy things that I have witnessed during my Peace Corps experience. Therefore, this entry will be filled with stories from the past 6 months. Enjoy!

Getting the Cat Fixed

Reese

In America, it is very common for the owner of a cat to have them spayed or neutered. In fact, I don’t recall ever seeing a male cat with testicles or a pregnant female cat while I was growing up. In Panama, it costs $45 to have your female cat spayed. Shoot, that’s totally worth it in my opinion after having gone through two litters in only 4 months. However, what I did not factor into the price was the cost of hauling my cat on a boat for two hours, a bus for two hours, staying in a house with another female cat, and then doing the bus and the boat again to come back to the community. Lord have mercy.

So I started this trip with high hopes. I was advised to put the cat in a sack rather than a box. That was definitely bad advice, which I realized as I was getting on the boat. In other words, TOO LATE. The cat clawed through the little holes I had cut and began sticking her head through the enlarged hole. Well next thing you know there are large holes all throughout the bag and it might as well be ripped to shreds.

The boat that arrives to pick us up is packed and the only seat is in the very front in between two kids and tons of luggage. This wouldn’t have been the end of the world, except for the fact that the boat driver decided to go way too fast in the rough ocean sending the boat crashing down after it crested each wave. Mother f*****. No, it’s fine, I don’t need this back bone or my tail bone either. Miraculously the cat clung on for dear life in my lap and didn’t try to escape too often.

After a miserable 2 hours, we arrive on the mainland. I immediately hail a taxi to be taken to the bus station. It’s only a 10 minute ride, but the cat had never been in a car before so I was worried she was going to freak out. What I didn’t take into account was the fact that we got into a nicer and newer cab and my cat was shedding white hairs onto his black cloth interior like she had just been shaved bald. Well, once the cat hair was significantly covering the back seat and floating through the wind-blown air to the front seat, the taxi driver called it quits. He stopped on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere half-way to the bus station and told me to just get out. I tried to pay but he said just go and then sped off.

About 5 minutes later, an old truck taxi pulls up and we get in. I kind of hide the cat on the floor, hoping the taxi driver won’t notice. Thankfully, he didn’t care too much and the cat didn’t shed as much hair being on the floor board.

From the bus station we hailed a coaster bus full of people headed to the city. I had an aisle seat right by the door so everyone who entered saw me holding my stressed kitty cat. She behaved pretty well on the bus actually.

We arrive in the city and I hail a cab and ask to be taken to a vet. He takes me quite a ways away from the city center but it looks like a pretty legit vet. I walk up and a lady greets me outside. The “waiting area” is outside on a covered porch. The vet building appears to be a renovated house. She brings me a cat carrier to guard my cat better. Then she tells me that the doctor isn’t here and she doesn’t know exactly when he will return. She doesn’t know what it will cost to have her spayed. And why didn’t I call earlier to schedule an appointment? Alright, throw me a bone here. I woke up before the butt crack of dawn, traveled from super far with a loco cat, and I haven’t eaten all day. We eventually get on the same terms and she calls the doctor and tells him to hurry back so he can do this surgery for me today. I leave my poor kitty in her care and pray that she makes it back to me safely.

Later that night at about 8pm, I walk back to the house where I’m staying after running errands all day long. I follow a white commercial van to the house and realize that it’s a vet van when we both stop at the house at the same time. OMG! What amazing timing. He gives me my kitty and I give him the cash and we part. Not sketchy at all, no. 

I was so happy to have her back and to know that she was ok! But she was not quite so excited to see me. She was squalling from fright being in a new place. The female cat that inhibited the house was also not at all happy to meet her. Luckily there was a dog crate at the house so I put her in that to keep her and the house cat from fighting. Well that didn’t really work because they still hissed and fought. So then I put the crate in a bedroom and shut the door. That helped keep them from fighting.

But when it came time to sleep, my kitty began squalling again from fright of the unknown place. It’s one thing to bother the owner’s sleep (me), but unfortunately 4 other people inhabited the house as well. I can’t let her disrupt all of us all night long. So at about 2am, I took her out of her crate and we sat outside on the front porch to calm her down. I tied her up to a post and she calmed down after the first hour. I went inside and slept for maybe an hour until she started making a racket again. Then I went back out to her and stayed until the sun rose.

The trip back home was much easier than the trip to the city. While we were waiting for the boat, I didn’t know what to do with the cat. I felt bad tying her up to a post and leaving her on the dock, possibly to fall off and drown herself. So I let her wonder around the back of a packaged food merchant with the rope still around her neck, just in case she tried to run away. The guy who owns this store is great and trusts me so the cat and I just roamed around for about an hour. Curiosity didn’t kill my cat this time, but she was into every nook and cranny. Curiosity should have killed her.

When we got back to the community, everyone was asking about our trip. Mainly, how much did the surgery cost? Only $45. WHAT?! Good God you are crazy for paying that much money for nothing!

Ok, maybe they didn’t come out and say that, but I know it’s what they were thinking. They don’t understand the benefit that I see in getting my female cat fixed. And they never will because they still tease me 6 months later. 

Eating Habits

If someone tries to tell you that your eating habits will not change when you move to a new country, they are a liar. I thought I would be able to keep up with my healthy diet, but that immediately went downhill the moment I was served fried plantains for breakfast 4 days in a row. Oh and lunch was a huge bowl full of white rice and fried chicken. And I think dinner was rice and beans. 

When I moved into my own house, I tried desperately to get back to my old habits. There is only so much you can do when living with host families, but now I had the ball in my hands. I ate lots of oatmeal and canned vegetables and tuna and homemade tortillas for about 2 months. And then I realized that I was completely broke every month from spending so much money on this "healthy imported" food. I started bringing less and less home from the big city as the months pasted...

And now here I am a year after moving into my own house. The only thing I bring in from the big city is what my mama ships me from the states (mainly dried fruit, nuts, granola). I don't waste a single dime on whole wheat pasta and canned peas. I eat oatmeal with raisins, rice and beans, starchy vegetables from the finca like yucca and others similar to potatoes, and some fresh fish and chicken every now and then. Oh yeah, and I like to fry up plantains, green bananas, and bread. 

Now when I try to eat regular American food like pizza or pretzels or ice cream it hurts my stomach. But I still feel relatively healthy. I weigh the same and look the same. So what if I'm substituting leafy greens for green bananas? They're free for heaven's sake!

I've actually added a few really good delicacies to my diet. Some might object to eating a few of these, but look I didn't actually kill the thing. And it would have been thrown away if I didn't eat it. So onto the good stuff. I have a friend that loves to hunt in the finca (farm in the jungle). He goes with his dogs and always manages to catch some interesting prey. Usually he brings home birds and squirrels (which they cook and feed to the dogs primarily) but one day he brought home an iguana! It was similar to chicken and it was really good. I also ate wild rabbit that he caught. The other oddity is sea turtle. It's quite popular out here. I've only had it twice and I must say that it tastes really good, like cow meat. 

But a few things that I can't bring myself to chow down on is chicken feet, chicken neck, and sardines. Not quite a campo girl just yet...

Projects Underway in Panama

I hope this new year has started off well for you and your family. The new year has brought a leap in motivation within my community, of which I am very appreciative. Personally, I feel well equipped and mentally prepared to lead my community forward in their efforts to improve their own lives. This is not always an easy stage to arrive at in a completely different culture! So for me, it is an accomplishment as I stumble into this new year.

Since I last updated you in September, disappointingly not much has progressed work-wise. I took about two weeks out for vacation in October; November and December are full of Panamanian holidays, graduations, school vacation, and relentless other reasons to relax in the house instead of being productive (rainy weather, clearly a big determent). Welcome to life on the Panamanian Caribbean coast!

Now that the weather is clearing up and school will be starting in a few weeks, my community is beginning to wake up from their winter hibernation. I had a really good meeting with my women’s Artisan Group last week; they are finally getting over their embarrassment and have asked me to help them reorganize the group and plow forward to find new markets to sell their unique jewelry made from coconut shell. This has been a year in the making, so obviously I am very excited that they trust me enough to delve into the intricate drama-filled group dynamics.

Also with the start of the new year, I will be working with the students in grades 6, 7, 8, and 9. I will be teaching Junior Achievement classes to the 6^th and 8^th graders. Junior Achievement is an organization from the United States that teaches kids from grades K-12th about the world of business and economics. A fellow volunteer and I will be teaching Life Skills classes to the 7^th and 9^th graders. Through a Peace Corps developed program called “Vida Sana, Pueblo Sano”, we will teach topics such as sex education, HIV and STD prevention, how to make good decisions, and short-term and long-term goals.

My Girl Scout classes were put on hold during the school vacation months because about half of my girls left the community to spend vacation with their mothers who live in more urban communities in Panama (they are raised in Cayo Paloma by their aunts and grandparents). These will start again full swing when school starts and everyone returns. We cover a wide range of topics such as sex education, environmental education, how to make good decisions, self-esteem, leadership, and English.

As work is progressing slowly in my community, my neighboring volunteer (20 minutes walk) has taken the bull by the horns. His community is in desperate need of a clean potable water source. They live in a community populated with cows and without latrines; This is a sure disaster for a clean water source. Charles Walker (the volunteer) has worked tremendously to develop and train a Water Committee of 5 people who will eventually continue to manage the community’s water and lead the community in efforts to keep the water clean long after Charles has finished his Peace Corps service. Charles and the Water Committee have found a new clean source of water outside of the community and they have mapped out a plan to build an aqueduct and water system to bring the water to the community. This project is still lacking in funding. Please consider donating to Charles’ essential clean water project: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=525-173

That’s all for me folks! Please pray for me during these last 8 months of work within my beautiful community of Cayo Paloma; that we will be able to work efficiently to complete the projects we have started and also for new opportunities for artisan goods markets.

Truly Home in Panama

A big hello from Panama! It's incredible that a year has gone by since I arrived in Panama. It's rare that we have opportunities like this to look back on a year affected by so much change. Maybe only once or twice in a lifetime will one make such a drastic change. I am thankful for this opportunity to reflect on how God has grown me during my time in Panama so far.

 

As I mentioned in my previous posts, I absolutely love Panama and my small community. That love has only grown deeper over the past 6 months. I have been very well accepted into the community, which is a goal every Peace Corps volunteer hopes to achieve. Because we need to work "hombro a hombro" (shoulder to shoulder) with our community members, we rely on trust and respect to achieve our work goals.

 

After 9 months living in my community, my primary and secondary projects have sorted themselves out. Generally, my 2 primary projects are:

1. Creating employment and increasing the income of community members, primarily for men in the community.
2. Teaching life skills and mentoring the young girls.

For the first project, a group of motivated community members has started planting crops not traditionally grown in the area where we live. We are growing tomato, cabbage, carrot, squash, watermelon, cantalope and corn and we hope to expand this variety as we acquire more seed. Additionally, we are growing everything organically and using organic compost as well. By growing these products here on our land, we are able to create a new market among the communities around us. None of these fruits and vegetables are available to these communities because of our very far location from central commerce. Therefore, we believe that we will be able to create a new market and this will create a very stable income source for the group.

 

I am working on the second project by holding Girl Scout meetings once a week for a group of 10 girls between the ages of 5 and 11. Also, me and another Peace Corps volunteer (who lives in a neighboring community 20 minutes away) are teaching life skills classes to a group of 7th graders. This includes everything from learning how to communicate effectively to sex education.

 

My list of secondary projects never seems to end! Currently I am teaching English to the elementary school teachers, building more efficient stoves for the community (uses less firewood and produces less smoke), and working on various projects with the women such as Cooking/Nutrition classes, participating in a Peace Corps Business Plan Seminar to learn how to run their small convenience store better (large group of women who own it), and participating in a Peace Corps Artisan Seminar to learn how to better market the beautiful jewelry they make out of coconut shells and shells from our beach.

 

Of course challenges always come with any project. My Spanish has significantly improved over these past few months, but I still have a lot to learn and improve. Two of the biggest challenges that I have had to face are receiving support from Panamanian government agencies on community projects and also motivating community members to work with me on the Organic Agriculture initiative. We are seeking help and funding from other resources for our Organic Agriculture project. I have learned that I can only do so much to motivate community members, so I am working with those who want to work with me, even though it is not everyone from the community.

 

Now that I am very familiar with my community and their needs, I have a list of items that we would love to receive as donations. Many of you have asked, "How can I help your community?" I finally have an answer for you! 

 

Some of you have the ability to donate a large quantity of medical supplies or school supplies. Specifically, my community would appreciate:

• toothbrushes and other dental hygiene items
• condoms
• reading glasses
• pencils, pens, notebooks (school supplies)

Other items that you might find in your home to donate which my community would greatly benefit from (your trash is our treasure!):

• beads or other jewelry-making supplies
• needles for sewing
• magazines (to be used for making jewelry)
• lightly-worn clothes (both sexes, all ages)
• children's books or games/toys for kids

Please contact me by email (mbstrawn at gmail.com) if you are planning on sending a material donation and I will give you further instructions. Thank you thank you thank you!

 

May God bless you and your family. Thank you for your prayers and continued support.

Typical Day

A phrase that I heard over and over in Peace Corps Training was, "It depends." Us aspirantes (trainees) were so curious about everything - our new job in international community development, Panamanian culture, new languages, our soon-to-be assigned communities - that we were constantly asking our boss and trainer questions to satiate our desire for knowledge and information. Almost every single answer we received began with, "It depends." That phrase turned into a running joke throughout training as we  began to use it in unrelated areas (example: "May I go to the bathroom?", "It depends."). And by the end of training, we were answering each other's and our own questions, knowing the answer would be, "It depends."

I share that memory with you because it affects much of the topic of this blog entry - My Typical Day. I decided to write about this because I know many of my readers are curious about daily life as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Panama. They can imagine that my life is completely different than their lives in the United States, but I wanted to share a more complete picture of really how different "different" is. Though Panama is relatively modernized compared to the world, it really is another world here. I'm reminded of this comparison as I sit here in my hammock and write this by candlelight at 7:15 on a Friday night. A man walks by my house (located centrally in the community) and yells the typical Panamanian call (Ahuuuu!) which sends some other muchachos (young men) doing the same. My vecina (woman neighbor) is laughing the typical shrill immature laugh that all the women have here. There's a chichi (baby) crying, a planta (generator) humming, and crickets starting to sing their dusk-time lullabies. I feel like I should start singing and dancing around to add to the nightly commotion! What are your nightly experiences? In a peaceful home or apartment maybe with the television on in the background with the news on. You might hear a car pass by. Maybe you can hear the cricket's song too.

But I'm getting off topic. My objective is to share with you a typical day. Well, it depends. Life in a living, dependent community changes often day to day. Not drastically, but enough to give you 7 completely different days in one week (mainly for the men, women's days are more mundane with everyday household chores that they are responsible for). Because of my work, my days are more flexible like the men's. As an example, here are a few of the major things that might fill my week (the time listed is per day): trip to a nearby community by walking (generally takes 5 hours roundtrip), watching my community baseball team play in a game nearby (4-6 hours), teaching a class or holding a meeting (2-4 hours), visiting with families (2-4 hours), preparing for meetings or classes (4-5 hours), giving attention to the kids who come to play at my house (2-3 hours). The activity that I do the most often is prepare for meetings and classes. Therefore, I will use this as the detailed example of a typical day in my life.

Warning: Some of these details may be a little graphic, but I want you to have the whole picture. And remember, I'm a Peace Corps Volunteer and boy haven't we seen it all.

• 6:30am - Crawl out of my mosquito net and hop off my makeshift bed of an inflated sleeping pad on top of a foam sleeping mat (raised by a wooden platform about 3 feet off the ground so that I can store things underneath). Pee in my pee cup (yes, wiping with toilet paper). Dump the pee out the window to the grass. Bucket bathe inside my house (walls and floor made of wood, built on posts) (yes, I use soap). Wrap around a towel, open the window to my sink and greet the morning. I wash my hair in my sink about every other day. My sink is a sheet of zinc and a faucet.
• 7am - Brush my teeth at the sink either with running water that comes to my sink or using a cup filled with reserve water if there's none coming out of the faucet (yes, I use a toothbrush and Colgate). Wash my face (yes, using soap and getting water from the same place I brushed my teeth). Wash my clothes from yesterday, usually just my underwear because I don't get too dirty from a typical day and there's no sense in washing clothes that aren't visibly dirty or don't smell bad. I wet the article of clothing in my sink, do a prescrub with my laundry scrub brush, pour on some powdered laundry detergent, scrub the clothing on all sides (only outside), rinse. Hang to dry on a line inside my house or on my porch if it's not raining. I only wash clothes when there is water in the faucet; too difficult to do it out of a bucket in my opinion. During our drier days, my water is typically on from 7am-8am, maybe around 10am for 30 minutes, and from 7:30pm-9pm.
• 7:30am - I get dressed, usually t-shirt and comfortable shorts. It's breakfast time. My cat gets cat food which I keep in a big plastic ice cream container with a tight lid. My breakfast is cereal. In a different ice cream container I pull out my powdered milk, Nestle Fitness Whole Grain Cereal, and a bag of Craisins from the US (thanks Mom!). After eating, I wash my plastic bowl and silver spoon using soap and an old (clean) sock that is now my dish rag. Put my breakfast items back in their tightly-sealed bin to keep the cockroaches out.
• 8am - I spend about an hour praying and doing devotionals and bible studies. Sometimes I stretch that out to two hours. I either sit in my hammock and pull up a stool to act as a table or I sit normally at my table. Usually during this time my body is ready to go #2. I chose to use the "composting bucket method" for my latrine. My house is not located in a convenient spot to build a pit latrine (I'm on flat ground near a stream) and I don't have enough money to build a composting latrine ($200). The bucket method is compost in a bucket. It's a 5 gallon plastic bucket with a tight-fitting lid. I put a piece of wood on the top to act as a seat. Cover the poop with dry wood shavings. I also put food scraps in my compost such as banana peels. It fills up in about a month and I take it to my neighboring Peace Corps Volunteer to dump in his compost pile. He's a 30 minute walk down the beach.
• 10am-12pm - Preparation time. I have lots of meetings during the week where I am the teacher or facilitator. Therefore, I have to be well prepared well ahead of time to make sure everything runs smoothly. My typical weekly meetings are English classes and Muchachas Guias (Girls Scouts). About once a month I meet with the Organic Agriculture group. Also once a month I host a Cooking/Nutrition class for the women. My projects are gradually increasing in number so I'm finding that I need to schedule my days even more rigidly in order to be prepared for everything.
• 12pm - Lunch time or more properly called nibble time. I'll munch on fruit, granola bar, nuts. I usually don't actually cook anything at lunch. I'll take about an hour to eat and read my book. 
• 1pm-3pm - This is a free-for-all. Either I prepare more, read more, write, clean the house, play with the kids (I usually open up my house for people to come and visit), plan projects, etc.
• 4pm-5pm - The sun starts going down and people are returning from the finca (farm). I like to make my visits to families in the community or sit at the local store where people gather to catch the latest gossip and share opinions. Sometimes I just sit and listen to them speak their indiginous language for 30 minutes. It's being there that counts, even though I couldn't understand anything!
• 5pm - Dinner time. My staples are rice and beans, spaghetti, mixed veggies, "hummus and naan" campo-style (country-style), soup. I have a two-burner stove that runs on propane. Most of my food I buy canned but I'm trying to move away from this. Soon I will have my own garden!
• 6pm-7pm - Before the sun goes down, I like to sit on my porch and read in the waning light of the sunset. The kids usually play baseball or jump rope right outside my house.
• 7pm-9pm - I move inside to escape the mosquitos. During these hours, I continue reading, study my bible, listen to sermons on my iPod, and/or workout by dancing or imitating a work-out video in my house. All this is done by candlelight.
• 9pm - Bedtime. Brush my teeth, wash my face, put on my PJs. Hop onto my bed, crawl under my mosquito net onto my double-thick sleeping pad. On nights where it doesn't rain, the warmth of the air settles in and makes it difficult to sleep. I always welcome the loud rain against my zinc roof and the cool breezes that it brings.
• It's rare for me to sleep through a whole night. I usually wake up at least once to pee. I almost always wake up around 12am-1am and toss and turn for a little while. I'm hoping that getting a real bed will solve this annoyance.

It's a few days later and I'm reviewing what I've written. I'm reminded again of how varied my days are. The weather really affects my schedule. If it is dry out, I almost always take a walk/run on the beach and try to play volleyball or soccer or baseball or swim in the ocean with the kids/teenagers to take advantage of the good weather. Because when it rains, it pours and no one wants to do anything outdoors. The cool breeze comes in and encourages you to sit inside all day drinking hot tea. Also, weekends are typically more active because all the high school-aged kids are home for the weekend and people seem to work less and take more time to visit one another.

Misunderstandings

A common problem among development workers all over the world is misunderstandings between the outside workers and the native people being helped. These misunderstandings take many forms, such as: language barriers, misinterpretation of a problem, forcing an outside solution that may be unnecessary, explaining concepts that are above the native's level of reasoning, ineffectively working with the illiterate, and disrespecting a people because of ignorance of their cultural norms and values. Though I have already experienced multiple of these types of misunderstandings, my greatest number have involved language barriers.

The community I live in speaks 2 main languages: Spanish and Ngobere. I state these as both main languages because almost every single person knows both languages well enough to carry on an intermediate-level conversation (some of the older women can only carry on a basic-level conversation in Spanish). Also, both of these languages are used everyday; it is not as if the people have the knowledge of one language but rarely use it. Additionally, the Spanish spoken in my community is often "relaxed" meaning they have heavily adopted the Caribbean Spanish habit of dropping the ending "s" on the "tu" and "nosotros" conjugations of verbs (ex. "tu va" and "vamo"). The other adaptation that is very prevalent is the use of "ao" instead of the full "ado" on the endings of words (ex. "pescao" instead of "pescado", "cuidao" instead of "cuidado").

Since entering the community, my language learning has been relatively slow. In my defense, I was basically learning a whole new way of life, diet, people, climate, and still trying to perform my new job as a development worker observing the communiy and learning about their problems. Then add on top of that learning 2 basically new languages. Needless to say, there were many language-based misunderstandings in the beginning (and still are today!). I'll recap a few to give you an idea of the difficulties that I have experienced.

Let me preface these stories with a few more pieces of information. Sometimes the misunderstandings may appear to be language-based but really it is a problem of assumptions being made by people with different cultures. For instance, in America, if you go to your neighbor's house (non-family member), you always wait to be invited in. Even if the person has the door open but is working somewhere inside, you will probably shout and ask permission to enter. Even if you have visited this person multiple times, you still feel that you need permission to enter their home. This shows how much we, as Americans, value our privacy. Well here in the good 'ole campo (countryside) in Panama, the rules seem to be that once that neighbor has invited you to enter once, you can use that open door (literal) as an invitation to enter at any time. So if I am working away at something inside my house and I have the door open to let the breeze in, using my American values I would assume that anyone who comes over would wait for me to get to the door before entering. But I would be very wrong because I would soon see my visitor strolling right in and taking a seat on the chair next to me. So the following stories may not be solely a misunderstanding of language, but also a pre-formed cultural assumption in our minds of how the other person will act in a given situation.

This first example happened just a few days ago. I walked up to a neighbor's house and saw a beautiful new table that someone had made by hand. The legs were intricately carved and the top was smooth and rounded on the corners. The following conversation is what I understood from my end (remember - with my own assumptions at play):
Me: "Who made this beautiful table?"
Lady: "My husband."
Me: "Is it for sell?"
Lady: "Yes."
Me: "How much?"
Lady: "$35."
Me: "I want it but I already have a table top and posts to make my own table."
Lady: "Well my husband can take those pieces and sell you this for $10."
Me: "Sounds like a deal! Tell him to come to my house later to get the pieces."

Later, he comes by and takes the table top, 2 leg posts, and my $10. He says he still needs to paint the table but I tell him I like it unpainted. He says he can bring it to my house in two days.

The following day I decide to round up some neighborhood boys to help me bring the table to my house. I knew it was already finished since I told him not to paint it and us coming to get it would save him the trouble of hauling it to my house. I get to the house and my table isn't there.
Me: "Where is my table?"
Lady: "It's not done yet. My husband told you he would finish it by tomorrow afternoon."
Me: "But it was finished. What else still has to be done?"
Lady: "The legs still have to be carved."
She shows me one of the legs and I realize it is different from the ones on the other table. That's when it clicked and I understood the misunderstanding.
Me: "But what happened to the table that was right here? That's the one I bought."
Lady: "It's at my grandfather's house already."
Me: "So your husband is making me a new table out of the wood that I gave him?"
Lady: "Yes and he is using his own wood too. That's why it's a cheaper price."

Well alright then. Our words weren't matching up because our assumptions were getting in the way. Now I know that no one makes furniture without an order already placed. So if I see a finished piece of furniture, it already belongs to somebody. That's why the wife I was talking to skipped over the fact that the table I was looking at and that I intended to buy was already sold. She didn't specifically say, "he will need to build you a new one" because it was assumed that I realized this. But regardless, now I have a beautiful handcrafted table that only cost about $30 with materials and labor!

There are a lot of assumptions about money that I am still figuring out. The following two stories are examples of differing cultural assumptions of how to handle money.

I brought back some small bags of beads from the city because the women who make jewelry asked for some. As soon as I told one or two people that I had some beads, I quickly realized that the demand was greater than my supply. However, many women did not have the money to pay for them that day. I had the same conversation with two different women.
Lady: "Oh I really need these beads but I don't have the money ($0.30) on me right now. Can I take these and pay you back later?"
Me: "No because I might forget and other women might come who have the money so it is only fair that they have the opportunity to buy."
Lady: "Oh, well can you just set these aside for me and I'll bring you the money tomorrow?"
Me: "No because if someone else comes with money I'm going to sell it to her."
Lady: "Ok." (as she starts to put the bag in her purse)
Me: "No, I'm going to keep these here and when you bring the money, I'll sell it to you if it's still here."

Later that day I end up selling it to someone else. The next day, the same lady comes back and says she has the money to pay for her beads.
Me: "I'm sorry but I already sold them."
Lady: "But I thought you were savings them for me."
Me: "No I said I would sell them to whoever had the money."
Lady: "Oh man I really wanted them."

This story definitely makes me look like the bad guy, but my American mindset is still obviously at work. In my mind, I know there are other women who have the money and are ready to pay on the spot. I don't know for sure if this other woman will have the money tomorrow or even a week from now. My trust level is naturally lower (being an American). Let me tell the other story where I learned more of what was probably going on in the other lady's mind.

I mentioned to one of the ladies in the community that makes artisan goods that I really wanted to buy one of her necklaces for my mom, but I didn't have enough money yet. About a month later, I was visiting at her house and we started talking about the artisan goods fair that she will take her goods to. She asked if I still wanted to buy the necklace and I told her yes but I still don't have enough money saved up. She said that was fine, that I could go ahead and take it with me and pay her later. I told her I didn't know when "later" would be so I would rather her hold onto it so I don't forget about my debt to her. She said it didn't matter whether I paid her next month or next year, I could take it if I wanted to. I convinced her to hold onto it, but I learned a valuable lesson from this exchange.

First of all, they have a lot of trust with on another. It's very common for someone to have a debt outstanding for a long time. I understand this behavior amongst themselves, but I was surprised that they extended the same trust to me. In my mind, I hate having a debt outstanding with them because I understand the opportunity cost of them not having the money. Also, I was raised in a culture where common debt is bad. So the whole idea of me taking her product and not paying for it was against everything my culture teaches.

Secondly, they are a very generous people. They often give without expecting anything in return (especially so with food). I imagine many debts go without being paid (at least in monetary terms) and no one holds grudges about this.

So to go back to the first story, I can understand better why she wanted to take the beads and pay me back later and also why she alternatively suggested I save them for her and she will come back and pay me when she has the money. It's all about confianza (trust) and generosity which I thought I had a lot of until I met these people who appear to be the developers of these concepts. I need to brush up on teachings of generosity in Proverbs 11:25, 22:9, Paul's teachings in 2 Cor 9:6, Jesus' teaching in Luke 6:38, Moses' teaching in Deut 15:7. And to sum it all up, Rom 12:9-21 and 13:9-10.

My last example involves interesting different cultural assumptions that I am still trying to figure out. I often like to walk on the beach for exercise. It just so happens that the beach I like to walk on is home to a male Peace Corps volunter (as well as a community of natives). The conversation usually goes like this as I'm walking towards the beach:
Native: "Where are you going?"
Me: "I'm going to walk on the beach."
Native: "Oh to go see Sili."
Me: "Well no, for exercise. Though I might run into him and chat."

This simple conversation is littered with cultural assumptions and differences! Think about it like this - in the US, if we say we're going to talk a walk down the street, we immediately assume it's for exercise or to get out and enjoy the nice weather, even if I happen to pass a friend's house along the way. In these communities, exercising for the purpose of exercising is not common. Exercising for the purpose of visiting people is common.

Also, this is a great example of how indirect communication breeds a population of sarcastic dirty-minded people. In America, if I were going to see my friend down the street, I would directly say that is my intent. But Panamanians prefer to speak indirectly in order to leave much implied or to the imagination. So when I say I'm going for a walk on the beach, their brains start thinking of all the reasons why I might be taking a walk on the beach, instead of just taking it at face value, that I really am just walking on the beach.

The last cultural assumption I can pull from this is the fact that single young women are very rare. It is assumed that every woman over 20 needs to have a man and children. So the fact that I don't have these leads many women to tease me about going to see Sili in order to fix my problems of not have a man nor children. I don't think the teasing is really serious, but I know the thought crosses their minds. I have told them that I am here to work (not to find a husband and get pregnant) and Sili has a girlfriend who has visited our communities and met many people. All of this is just head knowledge though. From their understanding of the way life works, a woman's role is to keep house and have babies and just because a man has a woman in one community doesn't mean he isn't sleeping with a woman in another community (especially if it is in another country!). So they just absolutely can't understand singleness nor fidelity.